This morning I lay awake at three am. I was near sleep all night, but had to finally admit.. I had had a sleepless night and it was time to..turn on TV. I woke up to Scott Hahn speaking about family. But I was amazed by his perception of what family was all about.
When I was in college I distinctly remember one of my idolized profs sitting cross-legged on his desk, (ok it was the 60's), and explaining with great assurance that the reason Christians invented the trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, was that in those days society was primarily polytheistic and could not accept the idea of one god, but would easily understand the triune god concept. Following from that was my conclusion that religion was a made up thing altogether. I bought it hook, line, and sinker. I sunk fully into the idea that it was all made up to convince the masses. The rest is personal history..I stopped attending Mass..etc.
Years later, I have come to understand that my prof had it all turned around, that human imagination expresses divine essence. That, for instance, while we may seem to make a God from our own image, instead we are made from His image. While we think we attribute to Him finite human qualities, resembling family, father, mother, brother, lover, these are eternal divine qualities, unconsciously embedded in our created souls.
We have His d-n-a. He is our Father. Our relationship of father, mother, son, live out the love of theTrinity Family somehow, not the other way around, as some authorities have conjectured. We are accused of making up an anthrpomorphic god, a god like ourselves, when, in truth, God made us like Himself...with some human differences.
These ideas about God come from Him, not the other way around. Rather that reduce who God is by making Him human-like, God has maximized who we are by making us God-like. When He takes on human form, He does so in order to show us who God actually is, and to draw us, His children, to Himself..more and more, until we reach Heaven. Some reach a piece of Heaven while still on earth. When we look deep into ourselves, what we see is who God is, as lived out in Jesus' humanity. When you have seen me, you have seen the Father.
Where was Dr. Scott Hahn and his expertise when I was seventeen in my first philosophy class? He was probably in diapers, and God was getting him ready to talk. Today he is one of the most well respected scholars on the Catholic scene. This morning at godly the hour, 3 am, when the monks get up to pray, he was sharing a dissertation on his book, The Lamb's Supper. He was expounding on the book of Revelations..and its expression in, of all things, the Mass. I had only heard other demoninations' multiple version of what this most puzzling propthetic book really means, and Dr. Hahn's take was so much ...more. Rather than scare me with catastrophic prophetic bombs, his Catholic view comforted me. It is hard not to be drawn into the exuberant joy of our faith when he speaks.
He brought out the elements of the Eucharist as it would be gloriously celebrated in Heaven. It was such a surprise to hear this.
What stood out for me is that he said, when we entered the Mass we entered our Heavenly home. That here was our family, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. That the Lover is Father, the Beloved is Son, and the Love communicated is the Holy Spirit. We don't know in our limited imaginations how to think of Spirit of Love as a Person, but that is no reason to doubt it.
Our capacity is limited, but if the consistent word of God expressed and studied and studied and studied through prayer, and handed down by teachings, handed down from St. Peter, I am thrilled to wait in hope for the full revelation what it means to be part of such a Loving Heavenly Family.
So when we enter Mass, we are coming home to a reality of beauty, comfort, and challenge beyond our highest dreams of home and family. Of course, we don't feel it, even though at times, the saints and mystics have. Even they did not feel it all the time. It is not something to feel, but to know deep down and embrace in truth..and live out in faith and joy.
It is really too good not to be true. I am so thankful that I am growing to know deep down in the core of me that it is so, just as He tells us in the Gospels. It was not always like this for me.
I love the search and wish more Christians would spend time penetrating the mystery. It is our privilege..and duty. Wise men and women still seek Him, will always seek Him. Because we can only see as in a foggy mirror, it sometimes seems like He plays hide and seek with us. Even the Song of Solomon is a love story of hide and seek, the Lover and the beloved. This is the choreography of loving God from here to eternity and it is soo...exciting because there is always more..of Him to know..and it is all good, really good. Who doesn't love a good, an infinitely good, mystery?
Lord,
Invade my family with Your seed
Through Word, Host, and the power of the Bead
So that I might surely hear
You whisper, "I am near..."
So that in boring, painful, and confusing times
Your quiet voice clearly chimes.
With your angels sent each day
To help me stay guarded, on my way.
To dodge the ever present stalking
Missteps of distrust, anxiety, and balking.
That St. Michael, with bright sword would lead me
To march ahead of such encamped enemy.
Daily roaring to devour me whole
Lying, cheating, and stealing from my soul
Your wondrous gifts of faith, hope, and charity,
Keep my steps increasing steadily,
Energized by divine verility.
