Tuesday, July 7, 2009

ONE MOTHER'S DAY AT A TIME, One week later

After coming home, I was truly renewed and could not stop focusing on God and His instructions throughout the day. I spent my days walking , working out as instructed, and staying joyfully in His presence, whatever the circumstance. My usual thought pattern, obsessing over the children, was being replaced with a sense of peaceful Presence. I was in a continuous loving conversation with Him. No depression, only motivation and peace. I said several rosaries and lovingly attended Mass at Poor Clares every morning, and had rich devotional times in the early hours. I walked in the evening with my new best friend, the Rosary.. (I had never in all my life as a Catholic wanted much to do with the Rosary, not once. It was just too old school for me, or so I thought)
Leading up to Mother's Day, my time in the kitchen was notably spotty. But this week,I cooked wonderful healthy meals for myself and my husband. I even delighted him with a handwritten restaurant menu on our rooster chalkboard. I loved hearing him laugh his hearty laugh when he saw the formal menu. So unlike me. I did what I was guided to do…without any struggle. I ate more healthy foods and was satisfied with less. I had great energy. As my husband could sense, my tank had been filled,..with Premium. Martha, after sitting at Jesus' feet like Mary, was now equipped to better serve her household,..gourmet meals at that.
Whenever I started into a mystery of the Rosary, a familiar and exquisite peace would draw me in. I could not wait to read more about the inner healing in the Rosary. It meant so much more to me to pray the Rosary now. I had not had any experience of its power over me before this time away. A few days later, I had misplace the Rosary book and was frustrated by its loss,..at first.
A few more days flew by, when I finally came across the little book wedged between seats in my car, but my desire had cooled, and I no longer desired to read it . I am wondering what had happened to quench my thirst for grace? Was is not the real thing?. No, it was, it is real. As Brother Lawrence explains in his book, this does happen for various reasons, and when it does, one is not to get anxious, but get right back into the conversation, asking Him for His Presence, and just talking to Him about how it is.