Thursday, August 27, 2009

When Lord????

I NEED YOU, LORD Today is the feast of St. Monica I keep seeking God for an answer to my problem and the answer keeps coming. TRUST ME, I AM DOING SOMETHING WONDERFUL. I need Mary's faith to help me believe in the wonderful outcome, the fruit of the hard work that Jesus and the angels are doing in my augustine's favor, just as she believed when she saw the incredible suffering that her son was enduring. Looking at his bloody body and tortured face, she must have cried inside and may be even wondered if she should be doing something to stop the pain. I need to have her trust. I am very sad about my augustine's circumstances even as I listen to EWTN's encouraging video about St. Augustine's life, Monica's prayers, and finally, his conversion. Why should I be in such misery if I really trust. If this suffering, his and mine for him, is permitted by God who loves him more than I, if it is ok with St. Monica, who has taken him on like her own son, with Mary, who is his real mother, why can I not accept it. Please help me to accept that this way is Your way, his way, and maybe the only way that my augustine will come back to you.
I should rejoice even in his impossible difficulties because I believe with my whole heart that God is at work in my augustine's soul, that someday all will see the glory of God and be blessed by what God has done in him, just as we are blessed by St. Monica's prayers and the conversion of St. Augustine.
I must go on and be happy and live as if I know it is happenning even as I write this. God is on it. St. Monica is on it. St. Augustine is on it. Mary is on it. St. Jude is on it. St. Martin de Porres is on it. Dom Bosco is on it. St. Joseph is on it. St.Michael the Archangel is on it. My grandmother, Charito, is on it. My holy prayer partners on this earth are on it. God cannot resist a mother's prayers, much less a sainted great grandmother in Heaven who was so devoted to him through all her losses. Please pray with and for us, for me and my augustine. I AM LETTING GO AS OF TODAY, of all my worries and fears about my boy, and I FULLY ACCEPT this crucifix, and die to myself, and want to be committed like MARY. I am ready to stand seemingly helplessly by as I feel I am losing my augustine, praying, hoping, and believing that miracles happen and that one is happening right now, in my augustine's soul ..and in mine. St. Monica, thank you for suffering as you did to bring me to this point. I trust you, Heaven. Heaven help my unbelief. FOR THOSE WHO THINK IT ODD OR OCCULTISH THAT CATHOLICS PRAY WITH DEAD CHRISTIANS, I.E. SAINTS, TO HELP THEM: Here's the deal. We believe that all the saints, including St. Paul and Peter, all the gospel writers, those who walked with Jesus in His lifetime and after, are alive and with Him now and forever, and minister to those whom He loves everyday. We believe that we can ask them to pray with us just as we ask fellow Chistians to pray with us as friends and prayer partners. When I am in trouble, I ask the holiest and most loving people I know to help me in prayer. Could there be any holier that Mother Theresa who lives today in Heaven, at Christ's side, and one with more compassion for wayward sons, than St. Monica, who lived through hers, and wept and prayed until her miracle came and in much greater proportions that she ever dreamt?? We know we need all the help we can get and have not any problem accepting the help that God has provided us to use in our fellow saints who love us through His Heart. In the Christian family, there is no dividing line between those who live with the Lord on earth and those who live with Him in Heaven. Thank God the Father, for giving us such a large and loving and powerful eternal family.

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